Sunday, 8 February 2015

GWF Smackdown - Shrikes vs. Wraiths

Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's Battle of the Paint Station pits the mighty Tyranid Shrikes vs. the All New Canoptek Wraiths!

In the red corner, weighing in at 140 points, we have 'Charlie's Angels'! Three Shrikes with mixed loadout: Pair of Scything Talons, Pair of Boneswords, Lash Whip and Boneswords.  All 3 sport Rending Claws.

In the yellow corner, fresh from the codex update, weighing in at 129 points, we have 'The Rusticrons'!  3 Wraiths with Whip Coils.

Well Jim, it certainly looks like an interesting fight this evening.  Of course, nobody likes Wraiths with their massively frustrating 3++ invulnerable save and poxy strength 6 rending attacks.  However, it appears that GWF have made attempts to balance this cheese by increasing the cost of the glorified repair 'bots to 40 points each.  Having said this, the cost of their wargear appears to have dropped dramatically.  Correct me if I'm wrong Jim, but doesn't that actually make them cheaper?

Why, yes Ron, yes it does!  In fact, in a controversial move at the weigh in, the Rusticrons eschewed all ranged weapons in favour of whip coils, making them 11 points cheaper than their adversaries.  It looks like we won't be seeing any 'kiting' shenanigans in this fight and the metal killers want to get down and dirty.  Close combat weapons only tonight, folks!

Absolutely, Jim!  It smacks of overconfidence from the Rusticrons.  Those Tyranid Boneswords with instant death rolls on a 6 are the bane of multi-wound models.  Their rending claws, whilst normally a great addition, will have absolutely no effect however.  Wraith Form sucks.  Of course, we are completely impartial.

Correctamundo Ron, whereas the 'Crons will get to rend the 'Nids.  Lets not forget that the new codex has increased Wraith toughness to 5 as well.  Those Shrikes will need 5s to wound while the Wraiths only need a 2.  Surely thats going to make a difference?

We'll just have to find out Jim!  And here they come! Right into the melee! No charge rolls or preamble whatsover!  Its a straight up slug fest!  'Miss Lash Whip' hits first with her massive initiative 7!  Aaaaannd whiffs completely.  But whats this?!  The whip coil Wraiths also have swiftstrike and that puts them at higher initiative than the remaining Shrikes!  They hit! They wound! No rends, but the Tyranids only get 5+ saves aaand they fail them all!  Fortunately they have 3 wounds each and they stay in the fight.

But wait, Ron! The remaining 'nids get ONE extra attack each.  Hey, having 4 arms, two pairs of melee weapons, a prehensile tail and razor sharp teeth has got to count for something right?  Right?  So here we go, 4 attacks each, hitting on 3s!  They hit and they wound. Oh my, one is an INSTANT DEATH wound! Not looking good for the metal mickeys now, hey?! ... Nah, they saved it...

On to round two Jim.  Miss Lashwhip hits and wounds! Another 6 on the wound which will instantly kill her opponent!  He needs to make this save...   and does.   I'm beginning to see a pattern here, Jimmy my boy.  Now its the turn of the whip coil boys.  Some hits there.  More wounds and a rend.  Twin Boneswords is down to 1 wound and needs to make her 5+ save!  Ooooohh, she's down!  First blood to the Necrons!

Holy Cow, I didn't see that coming Ron!  There's one Shrike left at initiative 4 and she hits!  She wounds on a 6!! Use the chair! Use the chair!! Instant death, baby! No, wait, shes only got scytals, Godsdammit.  Another wound on the Wraiths but they are all standing.

Ok, Round 3 and the Shrikes are down a player. Only one Wraith still has his starting wounds.  Miss Lashwip hits but fails to wound.  The 'Cron boys now have more weight of attacks... and they make it pay!   Two rending attacks!  Oooh, thats gotta hurt, another Shrike down.  And they have nothing left to come back with.

Well it looks like its curtains for Charlie's Angels, Ron.  Round 4 and Miss Lashwhip gamely fights on, causing another wound.  She's ducking and diving but the hits keep on coming.  A nasty uppercut there, he slips past her defences. Bam! Its all over.  3 - 0 knockout win to the Tomb Kings in space....

Wait a minute Jim, that aint right.  Lets replay that fight again.  <Fast Forward>  Necrons win.

Aah, lets try giving the Tyranids the charge, Ron.  <Fast Forward> Necrons win.

Emperor's Balls! Lets give all the Nids lash whips and boneswords.  <Fast Forward> Necrons win.

F*@% it!  Again!  <Fast Forward>  Yeeeeah!  A Shrike win!  The Tyranids finally proving to be effective speed bumps for the relentless Necron war machine!

They don't even taste good, for Emprah's sake.

Ok we'll be right back after the break.

You will paint ussss now!  Wait! Are we already painted?!


  1. Ah the joys of playing Tyranids. Nonetheless - the NOVA Open beckons this year and in the Narrative campaign they give all Synapse creatures Eternal Warrior... which means of course, Shrikes. And I truly appreciate the science done here today.

    1. yeah EW is very nice on T4 models. Looking forward to your battle reports :)