Inertia Creeps

I think I'm having a bit of an existential crisis. Covid19 lockdown produced feelings of total apathy in me.  I'm an introvert (or at least I thought I was) who indulges in mostly solitary pastimes and I didn't think it would make much difference to be honest.  I was scared shitless for about 3 days when I thought I was going to lose my job for the duration but they set me up for home working at the last minute.  

A huge relief but having no real structure to the day or change in environment means that work and leisure seem to blur endlessly into a general sense of unease. "Should I be working now?  Should I have stopped working now?  Will anyone even notice?  How many people died today?"

I descended into Nurglesque sloth.  By the time Easter was over, I wasn't even sure what day it was.  I never thought I'd say this but I'm desperate to go back to work. Added to that, the virus has affected my immediate family back in the UK quite dramatically.  

There was nothing I could do, they closed all international borders in March, but it didn't stop me from feeling guilty.  Suffice to say, I didn't get much hobby time in. Eventually I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started hobbying in an effort just to feel normal. Painting for an hour every other night eventually turned into two or three hours and I had a good session today to finish him off.  Maybe there is something to self discipline after all.

It definitely made me feel better and was much more productive than playing Avorion compulsively or poring over Worldometers stats.  At least the pandemic seems to be winding down a bit now.  Next up, The Great Depression. Or Wave Two.  Reminds me of a line from 'Inertia Creeps', a Massive Attack song: "Been here before. Been here forever".

Anyway, I don't think he looks like Darth Maul any more.  He reminds me of Thumper in 'Bugs Life' now that he's painted up.  Completely demented. Fueled by insanity and stripped of his humanity by constant 'self enhancement'. 

He capers into battle on a weaponised chassis, cutting a fine figure of a cyborg.  Part man, part machine, part grasshopper.  I'm sure he will make an excellent general.  I'm going to have to call the other tech priest 'Bambi' now.

I might go back to converting before tackling the other one.  Or maybe do something completely different for a while.  Going out for bike rides definitely helps too.