Saturday, 28 December 2013


Work on the Exocrine conversion continues.  I decided to call mine an Endocrine.  Possibly because I'm feeling hormonal.  I had a lot of fun building the gun (bio-cannon?  I don't even know what they're called yet) which is a heavily kit bashed Tyrannofex Rupture Cannon.  The stickman arms were less fun.  Scratch building with Grey Stuff is interesting but its a bit like clay and difficult to do sharp edges well.  Its easier to just use bits of old models for spikey bits or carve the dried resin into the desired shape.

Fire in the hole

I used a mixture of Grey Stuff, Green Stuff and Liquid Green Stuff throughout.  I found that Grey Stuff dried faster and harder, like plastic.  The Green Stuff was stickier and produced a more rubbery finish. It was harder to carve and tended to crumble.  Then I realised that I was mixing too much yellow and not enough blue.  When I use more blue (60/40 mix) it dries much harder and is easier to work with.  Unfortunately, the strip I got in the package contains more yellow.  Nice one, GW.  The Liquid Green Stuff is dead handy though and I use it to plaster over the cracks and smooth out my knobbly bits.

Dr. Frankenstein would be proud

Overall I'm pretty pleased with it.  I definitely want to paint it up to see what it looks like finished and it will probably see some tabletop use.

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Stickman Exocrine

Well, the Hormagaunts are languishing in hobby torpor.  I have been compulsively viewing Bell of Lost Souls and The Tyranid Hive forums for scraps of rumours about the Nid release in January.  There aren't even that many, just rehashes of models already leaked and endless speculation.  Its embarrasing really, but I kind of wish Christmas would just go away so that "Niduary" (as the forums call it) can arrive.  It doesn't help that I'm working all over the festive season and on out-of-hours support.

More leaks from White Dwarf started appearing, including very grainy reproductions of the unit stat lines.  There was a 2 page debate on the forum over whether Rippers were toughness 5 or toughness 3 according to an extremely poor quality picture of a picture of the codex.  I got bored wishing my life away and started calculating how much it would cost to buy all the models I wanted.  This made me feel a little nauseous so I decided to do something constructive.  I figured that there was no way I was ever going to build an Exocrine given the "rapesplosion" awesomeness of the Haruspex, which is the alternative build.  At the end of the day the Exocrine is basically the fat bastard big brother of a Biovore.  Except that his gun somehow manages to look like both a penis and a vagina.  Never in my wildest dreams did I believe that this was possible.  Props to the modeller.

Exocrine next to a Tyrannofex.  Thanks to The Tyranid Hive for this

If you follow this blog then you'll know that I don't like Biovores very much.  I still have 'Ugly Nid Joe' from one failed conversion attempt and I reckoned it wouldn't take much tweaking to turn him into an Exocrine.  So this should keep me busy over the Xmas period:

Tubbs on the right for size comparison.  Its a bit small but it will do.

I have to build the middle pair of limbs from scratch since there is nothing currently similar to those big stompy legs that the new models have.  Hence the stick man effect.  I have a boat load of Grey Stuff lying around though and I'm going to try my hand at sculpting. Scary stuff, but I wasted 0 dollars if it turns out to be 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' rather than 'Starship Troopers'.

I did get around to painting 10 Hormagaunts but I made the mistake of believing the rumours that they will not become Beasts in the new edition.  They might get Fleet and some crappy +3" run move and they look to be a point cheaper.  I suppose I should be happy but its not as good as the Beasts rule.  I have a horrible sense of foreboding about Genestealers too which look to be exactly the same (sigh...).  There's no pleasing some people I guess.

Look fast, don't they?  Fail.

Friday, 13 December 2013

Out with the old, in with the new

I started getting caught up in the hype surrounding the forthcoming Tyranid release.  There are so many different and sometimes conflicting rules postings that it all becomes white noise and I try to just look at the pictures.  I decided to dig out my conversions for comparison.  If the price of the models is anything like the rumours portend then I'll be using my 'counts as' for some time to come.

Size does matter.  But so does price.
The Harpy is rumoured to be £48.  Given the New Zealand markup this will make it around $155.  Holy Shit.  You know what?  My poxy conversion is looking better all the time.  I wasted a monumental amount of time and effort (and money) on it.  I was never really happy with the result.  I nearly poisoned myself doing the water effects (pro tip: don't use Norski Kleer-kast, its like modelling with napalm).  But I might as well use the damn thing.  I'll probably pick the new one up at some point, but its likely to become the alternative build (the "Crone"?).

Now, this monster is another matter entirely:

Sadly, my Mycetic Spore will have to become a piece of scenery.
I don't even know what it is, but I want one.  People say its a Haruspex/Exocrine model or something.  The rumours are that it replaces the Mycetic Spore as a transport which is being dropped entirely from the codex.  My spore has seen a lot of action and was built specifically to hide the Doom of Malan'tai from LOS (modelling for advantage, yay!).  However, I'm quite happy for it to be put out to pasture.  Apparently the Doom is doomed anyway and will become a 5th Edition artifact and talking point.  Mine will become a slightly odd looking Zoanthrope in future games.

The new Tyranid Prime is a no-brainer too.  Yes, I will be getting one.

Oh dear.
Finally there appears to be a new Tyrant Guard model.  I never did a conversion for this one but I'm happy to say that Fido is not going to be replaced any time soon.  I'm quite content with the look and feel of the Old Guard, thank you very much (I still have one unassembled. Damned if I need a new one)

Gardez l'eau!!  I refuse to use a model wearing a toilet seat round its neck.

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Mo Gribblies

Hormagaunts are less exciting than I first imagined.  There are only two poses for all the bodies and legs.  There are 4 different head types but the scything talons are essentially all the same, just posed at different angles.  So after building a couple of models I got bored and started chopping them up.  I didn't want to go too mad, they need to be finished after all, but I found that you can get very different results by just re-posing the legs.  This is relatively easy to do without resorting to green stuff (styrene models are the best!).  Unfortunately I got a bit carried away with myself, attempting increasingly silly, legs akimbo type stances.  When I began to pull the legs off the base entirely and stand them on their tails I realised it was time to stop.

Some of the more notable poses include the "Thriller","Chuck Norris" and the "Morecambe & Wise Christmas Special".

I guess I'll have to paint them now.  This is not an entirely 'thrilling' prospect and puts me in mind of my 'zombiefied' state when I last painted Termagants.  At least there aren't 72 of them.  I ripped all the water pistols off the remaining 20 unpainted Termagants and replaced them with devourers.  I ought to paint them too at some point, especially when GW bring out a sexy new Mycetic Spore model to combat drop them in.  Dropping Devilgaunts into enemy lines is enormous fun (well it used to be, before 6th Ed Tau and Dirty Coteaz).  They'll probably change the transport capacity from 20 to 30 though and I'll have a mental breakdown.

All I need now is a Michael Jackson model and the ensemble is complete.

Monday, 9 December 2013

Bringing a knife to a gunfight

I pulled out my box of poor, neglected Hormagaunts today.  They were the first Nid models I bought and I've always had a soft spot for them.  They were only used (disastrously) in a couple of games where I quickly realised that fielding a brood of 12 just wasn't enough.  I bought more, but I never even finished building them all.  Shame on me.

I need to spend some serious hobby time with these poor wee fellas
They need to be run in skittering hordes but they are 6 points each, have no ranged attack and are nowhere near as good as Tervigon/Termagant synergy.  You need Termagants in order to spam their pregnant mothers and that pretty much uses up all your troop slots.  I always preferred the Hormagaunt model though.  Its more spiky and insectoid, hurling itself forward with ravenous glee.  Termagants in comparison look like gamboling puppies with water pistols growing out of their arms.  Its faintly ridiculous but you can't get more points efficient than free, which is what Tervigon spam gives you.

6th edition came around and everyone said it made Hormagaunts better with the changes to the rage rule.  Ok, so they don't chase parked cars any more. They still have to fail their leadership test to get that extra attack and being out of synapse means they're no longer fearless. Meh.

But wait!  There's a new codex around the corner.  Rumours abound of the 'Beasts' rule replacing the out-of-date 'Bounding Leap'. Assault grenades too!  Not brilliant but it would make them viable.  Ah, but I shouldn't start wishlisting.  That way lies madness.

Regardless, I fervently make supplication to The Hive Mind that Its lowly minions suddenly mutate some form of assault grenade biomorph.  Its bad enough turning up to a gun fight with a knife. Having to swing last with initiative 5 takes the biscuit.  I have faith.  I think I'll try to finish those 'gaunts before January.  Unless I get distracted.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

The trouble with Zoats

Karl down at the club gave me some ancient GW models the other week (I now yearn to build 'old school' Necrons).  Amongst them was a metal miniature called a 'Zoat'.  I had never heard of Zoats before but he assured me that they were the forerunners of the Tyranid race. I was intrigued.

What the hell is it?
It turns out that Zoats were included in the original Rogue Trader release as a cross-over from Warhammer Fantasy Battle but they never made it into 2nd edition. I think the fluff may have been retconned to gloss over the fact that these beasties don't fit with the eventual Tyranid modus operandi and weren't that popular. So I could have just left the model in the back of a cupboard and forgot about it.  But I resolved to investigate further (i.e. Google it)

Zoats were an ancient race conquered by the Tyranids.  Rather than being absorbed into the genetic Tyranid soup, they were enslaved.  They were powerful psykers and retained the ability to communicate telepathically with other species after their induction into the Tyranid ranks.  Therefore, The Hive Mind used them as 'diplomats', although negotiation was never really the intention.  Their role appears to have been as advanced scouts, seeking out potentially useful host races for the next incursion.  The Zoats eventually rebelled against their masters (or outlived their usefulness) and were eradicated from the Hive Fleets. The remnants fled to Imperial space where the Emperor's finest more or less finished the job. Apparently, they were last seen in Hive Fleet "Colossus" in M39 which was news to me.  I always thought first contact with the Nids was in M41 and Hive Fleet Behemoth.  But I confess that I didn't read all the 5th edition codex fluff.  Watching every single Hive Fleet get its arse kicked becomes tiresome after a while.  I reckon the Imperium has destroyed more planets with Exterminatus than the Nids have consumed.  Its almost as bad as The Black Crusades.

I replaced his missing fleshborer with a mace.  Not very 40k but WFB Zoats used 'em.
Anyway, all this new information got me thinking.  What with the galaxy being under threat of total extinction by the 'Great Devourer', any surviving Zoats would be considered something of a prize.  Having lived under the yoke of the Hive Mind, they might hold vital information about the invaders and even be aware of a potential weakness that could turn the tide.  I imagine that most of the other races would be very interested in capturing one for interrogation.  Conversely, the Hive Mind would absolutely want to remove any potential source of information that could be used to exploit it's weaknesses.  All of which means that a Zoat could be a good objective marker in a narrative game.  So thats what I'm going to use this one for.  I painted it up to be similar to my Nid colour scheme.  Emboldened by my success with airbrush medium I decided to have a play with glazing medium.  Experimentation is great until it all goes wrong.  It does bring out the colours and blend them in, but its shiny.  I probably used too much glaze and I've heard you can add water to make it more matte. I think this consistency would work quite well on armour though.

Pumped and glistening.  Ooo-err missus.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Nailed it

I resolved the wobbly model syndrome on my Ghost Ark by nailing some sense into the flight stand:

Best thing the Romans ever did for us
Trouble is, the model is so awkward and delicate that bits keep falling off.  I really will have to stop playing with it (as in driving it past the Grey Knights on the shelf, humming 'Gansta's Paradise' and making pew-pew noises).  I sorely wish I hadn't glued the gun emplacements too.  I could have folded the gauss flayer's up into the stanchions when not in use and made it much less likely to snap them off in transit.  The model would also have taken up less space.   The Wraiths are a nightmare to transport as well.  Those whip coils are horribly fragile. However, I managed to solve all my storage and transport problems with cut up foam.

Look at him in his cute little bed.  Aawww.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Necron Drive-By

I couldn't resist it.  I had to buy a Ghost Ark as well.  Its such an excellent model that my life felt empty and joyless without it. It was satisfyingly complex to build and paint too.  I dutifully followed the instructions right up to the part where it said "we recommend painting this assembly before the next stage".  Screw that.  I just glued the bugger together and blu-tacced the warrior carcasses in place.  I wanted to play with it, dude.  Its a toy, dammit!

Of course, I've broken the flight stand already and the bloody thing wobbles about all over the place.  I'm thinking of nailing it on.  I have also discovered that Vallejo Model Air metallic Steel is the most awesomest paint.  This was entirely by accident since I ran out of Army Painter primer and was frantically casting around for something to replace it with.  It actually works with an airbrush medium and doesn't clog the nozzle.  Yes, I know its meant to work with an airbrush but I was too dense to try it out.

They see me skimmin'.  They hatin'

Thats it now.  No more Necrons.  I will resist the urge to buy anything until Tyranids come out in January and I have a nerdgasm all over the keyboard.  I had a minor tantrum when all the rumours about a December release turned out to be unfounded and I still can't find my dummy.  Have your 'Hobbit' release, Emperor damn you!  I refuse to buy homoerotic elves!

I can't wait for it to get blasted off the table in Turn 1!

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Hell hath no fury

The bases are dry at last and now I'm done.

A unit   cluster  pod  murder of Wraiths
Wasn't sure about the dark green, but its too late now.

Lean, green, fighting machine! (Warning: product contains yellow)
We'll take that objective marker back now.  Alien filth.

Necron dimensional physics allow for some very original flying formations

So I finish painting the Necrons and immediately break my non-losing streak. Finally, I have something to complain about.  Alistair's upstart Tau Empire.  I pretty much knew what to expect from Riptides and their Ion Accelerator greater goodness.  If memory serves, that was the last time I ever played with Paladins.

As a lazy gamer, I've not come up against Ethereals before (is it EtherEEl? or EthEEreal?). The little blue guy in a dress didn't look particularly menacing.  He was hiding behind some sniper drones and a couple of squads of Fire Warriors.  I reckoned that if I could get even 1 or 2 Wraiths and the Destroyer Lord into combat, they would tear through them like a wet paper bag.  Queue: 'Invocation of the Elements' and the 'Storm of Fire' rule.  The clue is in the name really. "Fire". "Storm".  The Destroyer Lord was transformed into a melting slurry, pooling at the bottom of a glowing crater.  Its a testament to the sheer bloody mindedness of Canoptek Wraiths that one of them actually got through into melee.   However, my humiliation was made complete when the Tau version of Jenette Vasquez ran forward and drop-kicked him off the battlements.  I know that male Fire Warriors are about as useful as a chocolate kettle in close combat, but you want to watch those female ones.  They're nasty.  I'm thinking of painting a hoof shaped footprint into the unfortunate Wraith's ocular sensor, to mark the occasion.

It was a close game on paper.  Alistair won on linebreaker.  Had it gone to turn 7 I would probably have been  tabled.  Ah well, at least I have something to whinge about again.  And finally having a painted Necron army is cool.  I think I'm starting to like them.

She lost her Bonding Knife.  In the eye socket of a Wraith.

Friday, 15 November 2013


I believe that I may now be slow painting Necrons since it took 3 days to add the weathering effects.  In my defense, I do work full time and pay lip service to raising a family.  I also played a game on Tuesday night which took forever to finish.  Its weird, watching the other player rolling a million psychic powers and having to move all his units several times per turn. Normally, that guy is me.  Battle focus might be a neat idea but it does slow the game down interminably as your opponent tries to move all 12 of his jet bikes out of the charge range of your wraiths and spends 5 minutes just measuring stuff.  Anyhoo, I finally got round to slapping some AK light rust effects on the army.  Followed by a thin coating of Burnt Umber oil colour which took an absolute age to dry.  I kept poking them to see if they were done and leaving muddy fingerprints all over the place.

Its fair to say that my army has a large yellow streak.

I'm also experimenting with a super fast basing technique called "pour Jo Sonja's Crackle Medium varnish on it".  My weathering effects on the yellow carapace parts were less than professional too, involving a craft knife and closing my eyes a lot.  I actually have some Heavy Chipping acrylic fluid from AK which I could have used but it probably would have added another day to the whole process so I didn't bother.

You can see the crackly bits starting to form on the edge of the Wraith base.  Its like magic.

Monday, 11 November 2013

Turning to Custard

Well that took freaking ages.  I never realised just how fiddly some of these models are.  There might not appear to be much difference in the photo but the green is now added.  Again, I had to paint it white first and then add Scorpion Green.  This proved to be too light, so I added a green wash.  This made it too dark so I added a lighter Scorpion Green.  It still didn't look right so I gave up.

Green.  Ish.
Then I glanced up at the shelf and realised that I'd completely forgotten about the sodding Royal Court.

You forgot to paint us!  High five, bro!

Bollocks.  I think the best course of action at this stage would be to carry on regardless.  The next stage is to add weathering effects.  This will be achieved by that age old method of kicking the bastard things around the garage.

Sunday, 10 November 2013


I put the washes on  (Reikland Fleshshade & Nuln Oil) which has softened the 'construction site' yellow a little and added more contrast to the silver.  I also put a heavy black wash on the guns (and tails!) with Tin Bitz overbrushed on top. 
Caption?  We don't need no steenking caption
The overall paint scheme has caught up with my tester models so I added them back in. I'm getting a bit bored with the whole thing now so need to keep momentum going.  Green bits next.

Saturday, 9 November 2013

The future is yellow

Second colour added.  One more to go and they are tournament ready!  Lol.  Like they'll ever compete in a tournament.  I think yellow is quite original for Necrons, but I have a horrible feeling that it just looks stupid.  Maybe some of that Iyanden or Tau shooty goodness will rub off though.

Transformers, Tau bots in disguise!
It took longer than anticipated; about 4 hours.  So much for speed painting, but you've got to stay in the lines, haven't you?  Also I had to undercoat with white first.  Its worse than painting red, if you try to paint directly over a dark basecoat the colour doesn't show up.  You end up having to do about 4 or 5 layers and it can still look murky, so its just easier to put a coat of white on first.  

Next up:  some washes.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Speed painting Necrons

I've bitten the bullet and started painting psycho robots. Quickly.  In fairness, the plate metal primer makes the first part really easy. All models were done in under an hour.  I like painting and all, but basecoating an entire army is boring as hell.  This is waaay faster, gives a smooth finish, requires no preparation or cleaning and makes you high, all at the same time.  Aerosols for the win.

Oooh, shiny

Of course, I wasted several days trying to get the old, failed colour schemes off.  Simple Green isn't as good as I originally thought.  I found that using a 2:1 mix of hot water and Simple Green worked best.  Left to soak for a day or two.  Even then I had really scrub with a toothbrush and it didn't all come off.  I got bored in the end and left some of them painted:

I didn't repaint these because...  well, because I can't be arsed.

They will look stupid when compared to the rest of the Necrons but this is the price you pay for being unfocused and having a short attention span.

Sunday, 27 October 2013

Broodlord bonanza

I was going to start painting my Necrons this week,  I really was.  I even bought some Army Painter plate mail primer so I didn't have to actually paint them with a brush.  Once the silver base coat is on, its mainly down to adding a black wash and they're 80% finished.  I've heard stories of people throwing all the models in a plastic bag, adding the wash and just shaking up the bag.  Thats two out of your three colours right there.

I worked on the converted genestealers instead.  Maybe I have a mental block about it.  I finished my Space Hulk Broodlord as well and was pretty chuffed with the result.  It was undercoated two years ago and has been sitting on a shelf ever since.  This an ongoing problem with my 40k hobby; its very easy to get distracted, lose interest and move onto the next 'shiny' thing.  I reckon that there are three high points in the life cycle of a model.  The first comes when you buy it.  Unboxing your new kit is a guilty pleasure and the quickest fix of all three.  Its like your birthday or Christmas, except nobody else is getting a present and you 'forgot' to tell your wife that you were pissing away the disposable household income on this totally unnecessary and entirely selfish purchase.

One big happy family
Once that high has dissipated, you can get a second hit by assembling the model and/or converting it. This of course requires some effort on your part.  It can be a major stumbling block since its far easier to just go out and buy more models.  Often, it marks the end of the useful life of the kit which gathers dust on a shelf,  essentially forgotten until you accidentally come across it one day and suffer feelings of remorse (or you just promise yourself that it will be your next project.  Or worse, you decide that you need to buy more models to go with it and the whole downward spiral continues).

The third and final hit is when you actually base and paint the model.  This stage is fraught with peril.  You have a fantasy of how the completed figurine will look and its awesome.  You will receive general accolades and the admiration of your fellow gamers.  Your children will be inspired to take up the hobby themselves and even your wife will finally pretend to be interested.

Strike a pose. C'mon vogue..
The actual execution usually falls a long way short of expectation.  You may have rushed stage 2, doing a botch job,  failing to remove the mould lines and flashing properly.  Badly fitted joints which have been over-glued to the point where you can see your own preserved fingerprints on some surfaces can lead to further self-loathing.  Its all thrust into stark contrast when painted.  That perfectly imagined vision in blue and pink actually looks like a garish nightmare in reality.  Half finished, misbegotten creatures lurk in the dark corners of your painting station, daubed in failed colour schemes, trailing broken or melted limbs and staring mournfully  at you.  "Why didn't you finish meeeeee?" they whisper accusingly.

Such was the fate of my Broodlord.  He was such a cool model that I was almost scared of painting him and making a mess of it so he only ever acquired a coat of dust.  However, this time I felt that the planets were aligned correctly.  Its a great feeling when a conversion or paint job turns out well.  An accomplishment which I'm sure anyone who spends hours staring at their (un)painted idols in dingy basements or spot lit bedrooms will understand.  Everyone else just thinks you're weird.

Now I've only got to re-paint the other 33 and we're good to go

Thursday, 17 October 2013


Continuing the theme of Necron objective markers with a Genestealer twist, I decided to create some more. This time without the Necrons.  Which kind of makes them just Genestealers really. Sue me. I don't plan to use them in games any time soon but it was fun to use up all my spare parts and bits of scenery.

Is it nice, my precious?  Is it scrumptiously crunchable?
I need to stop pissing about and paint my Necron army but the prospect fills me with complete indifference.  I even won another game last week with cheesy Imotekh the Stormlord and the broken invasion beams rule on Night Scythes (Fly off the board a lot. Drop Warriors onto objectives turn 5).  I don't like winning two games in a row.  It raises expectations and you can't whine about it.  I'm so used to getting my face pushed in that I start to wonder if I'm cheating.  Its not like I've actually read the Necron codex since it came out and my FAQ dates back to early 2012.

In fact I sometimes wonder if we are all playing the rules properly at all.  I read somewhere the other day that the new Space Marine Stalkers and Hunters can fire at full ballistic skill against Wave Serpents.  I was genuinely surprised, but when I looked up the Skyfire rule (p42), there it was plain as day, "fires using its normal Ballistic Skill when shooting at Flyers, Flying Monstrous Creatures and Skimmers".

Another rule we overlooked for about 6 months in my gaming group is that ruins provide a 4+ cover save but if the ruin is mounted on a base, then the base only gives you 5+.  And I don't think I've ever remembered during a game that going to ground in area terrain gives you +2 to your save, not +1.  Not that it makes much difference with Nids in synapse which are fearless and can't do it.

Maybe all this 'meta game' stuff boils down to rules interpretation and personal preference. I had a 15 minute argument with one of my opponents at Call To Arms about being able to choose which assaulting unit to overwatch.  We even called a TO over who ruled that you can choose.  I was gobsmacked.

Monday, 30 September 2013

How to get 'ahead' in 40k

Well this marker should motivate my sluggish, gunline Necrons.  I'm not sure its actually a Necron objective marker anymore though.  The theme doesn't quite compute.  If I was really on the side of the megalomaniac androids then I would have depicted the Necron Warrior as wounded (damaged? structurally compromised?).  Maybe a twisted ankle or a rusty elbow joint rather than having his spine ripped out.  There's no coming back from that one really, not even with reanimation protocols.   And he's hardly the centrepiece of this little diorama.  I might as well just admit that I like Genestealers better.

"Advance to the objective, minons! And somebody put Geoff's head back on."
I haven't played them since 6th edition came out.  Fielding 30 outflanking/infiltrating Genestealers stopped being fun very quickly. Ymgarls are great at jumping out of the shadows and going "Boo!" but they just get whittled down too easily. And worse, they are competing for your elite slots.  Shame really.  Genestealers are iconic in 40k and probably the most universally recognised Tyranid unit.

Its just a flesh wound!  I've had worse  

The new codex is rumoured for a November or January release.  It would be nice if they brought the 'stealers back. However, I reckon that the only 'auto includes' will be all the new models.  Watch out for Harpy/Erinye and Mycetic spore lists with all your elite slots filled by Pyrovores.  They must have half a million of those finecast buggers rotting away in an disused warehouse somewhere.  I reckon there will be a Pyrovore on the front cover of the new codex, single handedly wiping out an entire company of Sternguard and creating 2++ re-rollable cover saves for every friendly unit in the form of the new 'Melting Point of The Sun' rule.  The price in the codex will plummet and the price on the shelf will rocket and there will be Games Workshop board members swimming in piles of cash and lighting cigars with 50 pound notes. Mark my words.  There will be a world shortage of finecast resin.  Trygons will be rubbish and Carnifexes will be awesome again with their new weaponised maggot sprayers.  But your existing models will be useless because you'll have to buy all the new weapon attachments. And people will rage quit or have brain aneurysms on the forums and quitters won't whine and whiners won't quit.  Honest, I'm not making it up. You heard it here first.

I'll be back

Monday, 23 September 2013


I'm having another lull in 40k (which may turn into a full blown hiatus).  This is mostly because I started reading books again (non Black Library).  And playing videogames (non Dawn of War).  I consumed Bioshock Infinite in 4 mammoth sessions, proving that I am a glutton and therefore going to Hell when I die.  I think 40k started to pall a bit when we were playing 750 point games at the club and I decided to use Necrons.  I have about 1500 points of them and have always wanted to dabble so this was the perfect opportunity.  I actually won my first game.  I did this by standing there and shooting for 5 turns.  And nothing else really.  Ok, my scarabs were going to assault something but they all died in turn 1.  The point is, I won the game without really doing anything.  My opponent conceded in turn 5 because he was so bored.   Shooting sucks.  Line of sight blocking terrain should be mandatory in every mission set up imho.  So, anyway, this being a shooting game and all, I have started to wilt a bit.  I decided to build a Necron objective marker to cheer me up:

I was going to do a Necron Warrior laying the smack down on some poor, unsuspecting genestealer.

It would be ultimate expression of shooting over close combat.

I think a Ymgarl ripping off a Necron's head sums up my feelings about the 'shooting game' quite well.

Monday, 9 September 2013

A right riveting read

Finished!  Well, I could tinker with it more but I'll go blind if I put one more rivet on, so I'm calling it done. The Orkification was the most difficult part really.  Forcing yourself to glue random shit onto a model just feels... unnatural.  Drinking a bottle of wine and listening to 'Woodpeckers from Mars' by Faith No More helps.  However, it makes the rivets difficult to see, never mind glue on.

Crime: Defacing an Imperial Aquila.  Sentence:  Death by rivets

Fortunately Orks don't care about precision, symmetry and other such niceties.  Once I got into the swing of it the modifications became almost enjoyable.

They vandalised my beautiful front door.  Bastards.
They'll never get the glass back in that window.
The rest of it is just spikes, razor wire and tank traps (no idea why I put tank traps on the second floor of a building.  I was into the second bottle of wine at that point.)

You better nail that landing.  Unless you want an extra arsehole.
Note the Orky take on the Chrysler logo

The tanks will never make it to the 2nd floor now

I had to use larger rivets when I got drunk