Saturday 29 February 2020

Squaduary Stretch Goals



 Batch painting is the pits.  Until you're done and then you're like, "Yeah baby, I'm a lean, mean painting machine!"  Overcome by ADHD I kept being distracted by Evil Dead Ash.  He was such a pleasing conversion, I wanted him to shine.  So I just slowed down and started painting him on his own.  Yeah, it wasted time but it was also good because my paints were ready and I could just carry on with the rest of the squad.  If I paint one rim, I might as well do all 10 while I'm here.  When I got deathly bored with the troops I went back to making Evil Dead Ash look spruce and manly.  It worked out quite well and seemed less of a chore as a result.  In fact, this is the first time I've enjoyed batch painting since, well.. forever.


Listening to the Ravenor trilogy on audio book also helped.  I'd forgotten just how good that series is.  Abnett, Haley and Dembski-Bowden are the holy trinity for me.  I have to be quite circumspect with Black Library these days and have several unfinished, forgotten Horus Heresy books lying around now.


I kept thinking of a comment by Siph in a previous post where he advised me to equip the squads with an Omnispex.  I checked back and it appears I have only built one of these out of all 30.  Time for a bit of creative, lazy-ass thinking.  So I came up with this:


Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up.  See this?  This is my BOOMSTICK!  It's a modified Arkhan pattern Galvanic Rifle with elongated barrel for increased effective range**. S-MARTian's top of the line.  You can find this is in the sporting goods department of select manufactorum outlets. Thats right, this sweet baby was made in Forgeworld Monkeychuka.  It retails for about #109.95.  It's got a walnut stock, adamantium blue steel with polished brass curlicues.



Plus!! This week, on special offer, is the Mark II Slaaneshi Omnisex Headset.  Providing 360 degree tactical battlefield data via remote view hololith projection.  Comes with multi-target painting runes and thrice blessed IFF indicators as standard.


Fully detachable, retractable and rechargeable for when you absolutely need to look bad-ass with your hood up.  Yours for only #99.99.


But that's not all!  For a limited time only, the Mark I Omnisex is just #49.99!  Great value with only mild side effects.  Hurry while stocks last!


Shop smart.  Shop S-MARTian! ***  Ya got that?  Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me... eeurgggh!! Failed Ld test! Damn! I knew I should have bought the data tether.


** - requires Tech Priest Manipulus noosphere connection.

*** - Terms and conditions apply.  Your sanity is at risk if you do not make proper obesiance and warding incantations on all Sado-MARTian (TM) apparatus.  Product contains nuts.

All 30.  Done.


23 comments:

  1. Yeah man! That group really looks amazing. You're right, painting a batch of models can be annoying. I'm struggling with only eight right now...

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    1. Eight is a good number! (from a religious and practical standpoint). Cheers Xar.

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  2. Brilliant progress and smug satisfied grin now commence... the reward for all the repetitive stages is this, an awesome group of Troops choices all smashed out and ready for battle. I’ve found the Data Tethers better on the shorter range multi shot Vanguard whilst the Omnispex on the objective camping longer range Rangers works well. Well done mate, a fine addition!

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    1. Cheers Siph. Can you point out the rule? I can't see anything in the codex (unless an Alpha Skitarii Ranger isn't actually a Skitarii Ranger) but I only use Battlescribe for list building because GW rules are bloated and open to interpretation. None of the Alphas in my list have power swords, so the rules lawyers I play will be foaming at the mouth anyway.

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  3. Only problem being, I’m not sure the Alpha can carry it... think it’s only one of the Skitarii Troops.

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    1. I read it as, 'one Skitarii ranger may also have an enhanced data-tether or an omnispex'. Alphas have the keyword 'SKITARII RANGERS' so I assumed it was kosher.

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  4. "Shop SMART, shop S-MARTian" ROFL! :-) Great result after a grueling month. I still need one more session before my pledge is complete.

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    1. haha, another Evil Dead fan!

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    2. "Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah..."

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  5. Good job fella.
    They look very striking on the battlefield and it's incredible that you've only spent a month on them. Congrats on crossing the finish line.

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    1. Thanks, I made it! Just! I'm pretty slow compared to some of the painting servitors out there.

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  6. What are you going to do with all these Inspector Gadgets?

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    1. I'm going to watch the galaxy burn, of course!

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  7. That's a fine looking army sir, love the running commentary/sales pitch as well!

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  8. This is great work, to knock out so many minis to such a standard is fantastic. Bravo. Love the robe colour and highlights.

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    1. Thanks for the invitation to Squaduary and the motivation to finish!

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  9. Looking good, how do I upgrade my painting servitor to produce such quality products at this speed? Your getting me excited for Maelstrom.. Damn I need to get my Bugs ready...

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    1. You must give up sleep and pledge your immortal soul to the ruinous powers. Maelstrom is ages off. Plenty of time to procrastinate and get into a mad panic during the final week.

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  10. These are great! What colours did you use for the robes?

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    1. Thanks! See https://monkeychuka.blogspot.com/2020/01/caving-in-to-contrast.html for details

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  11. Very nice. I'm a sucker for a walnut stock....sold!

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    1. Yep, he's ready to slay daemons... Or become one, I'm not sure which. Cheers

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