Tuesday 10 May 2016

Rambling Battle Report

They say that its better to be lucky than good and this is very true for Wargames I reckon.  I probably reached the apex of my gaming career at the 'Autumn' Kings of War event at Fields of Blood on Saturday.  Having played no games since 'Summer' Kings of War (3 months ago) and none whatsoever with Night-Stalkers I wasn't feeling particularly confident.  However, it did inspire me to  finish building/painting my Portal of Despair and take a more or less fully painted army.  Plus, I enjoy the gentle rivalry and fellowship of tournaments even when it descends into occasional petty squabbling and handbags at dawn.  Sometimes from yours truly.  I've seen my arse on more than one occasion during a hotly contested game but generally speaking I just descend into passive-aggressive mode.  Which used to be called 'sulking' but has a more grown up name now.  Table flipping nerd rage is something I would never dream of and have never encountered.

After several minutes of careful research and contemplation, I decided to take the Night-Stalker army rather than Undead and not bother changing my original list, which is based on models I own and brute force.  My Undead army requires patience and skill and probably more experience in order to function efficiently.  So I thought, 'to Hell with it, I'll use the event as practice for the Night-Stalkers'.  Since 5 of the 14 armies at the tournament turned out to be Undead (or Empire of Dust) it was a good decision in the end and provided a bit of variety.

Lliam's Empire fighting a completely different army.  Keeping it real.

My first game was against Lliam Munro and Empire of Dust.  I wondered how I should approach this and weighed my options.  I was packed to the gills with crushing strength monstrosities, some of which were very fast.  The 'Mindthirst' rule makes the army work best close to the enemy commanders, stealing their inspiration.  The 'Trans-dimensional' rule means that I get cover anywhere on the board so I don't need to hide.  I know!  I'll rush him with everything!  I don't remember too much about what happened next.  I never felt like I was winning.  My Portal of Despair forced a rout instead of a waver at one fairly pivotal point.  It provided no other useful function for the remainder of the tournament but it did get in the way of my own units a few times.  Then Lliam got an important phone call that he couldn't ignore.  The call went on for some time.  Being a decent chap and not wanting to keep me waiting he continued to play the game, completely distracted.  I mercilessly seized this opportunity and forced a draw.  10 - 10 tie.

Lord Commissar Cheese wishes he had stayed at home.

As all scrub players know, you should never win your first game in a tournament.  With a Swiss pairing system of rounds, it invariably means that you will face a decent player next (or another scrub) which will result in public humiliation.  A draw in the first round seemed perfect but in this case I was paired with Peter Williamson who went on to claim 2nd place overall.  He had Empire of Dust too.  My tactic of running at my enemy as fast as my fiendish little legs would carry me had worked out pretty well in game 1, so I repeated it.  Peter took full advantage of vanguard units and charged my Fiends in his first turn.  Ha! I thought, I'll just smash you with my Bloodworms!  A legion of Bloodworms with Brew of Strength is just filth and he knew it.  With sly underhandedness, he baited me into chasing his Worm Riders (which ran away) and then bushwhacked me from the sides.  I was reminded of velociraptors in Jurassic Park.  By the end of the game I was calculating how many points I could salvage by just running away.  At least I had the moral victory: I wasn't playing Empire of Dust.  19-1 defeat.

Charging Hydras with Genestealers.  Living proof of my tactical genius.

In the next round, I was matched up with Nick Jebson who had only ever played 3 games of KoW in his life, 2 of them at this tournament.  That was lucky, but he was an experienced WFB refugee who could add and subtract in his head much faster than me.  He was playing Twilight Kin.

I decided to use my flyers properly this time and hold them in reserve.  It didn't really work because his Lower Abyssals smashed through my left flank and they had to charge into the gap. Idiotically, I attacked his Hydras with my Dopplegangers who just grew more heads and gobbled them up with only the occasional Tyranid flavoured burp to mark their passing. Ah, Dopplegangers are a pretty obvious trick.  In fact, a trick so obvious that no one falls for it.  'Why yes! Of course I'll let you charge my 20 attack crushing strength 3 unit with your Dopplegangers.  Please, be my guest!  Its what they were meant to do after all.  Or, on the other hand, I could just feed you this shitty chaff unit or my shield wall and watch you flail around for 3 turns doing bugger all.'

So not all was going well but at this point I started rolling like a boss.  I think I failed about 3 Nerve checks for the rest of the day.  Nick's army (apart from the Hydras who were busy picking bits of Genestealer out of their teeth) was not particularly resilient and couldn't stand the counter punch.  18 - 2 win.

Obligatory groin shot

My final game was against Rex Foote and his Elves.  Rex was another good player but he was playing a new list and his luck was about to desert him in spectacular fashion.  Even with Lady Luck cursing him roundly, he nearly snatched a last minute draw with an Elven Mage who came out of nowhere to incinerate my Reapers sitting on one of the objectives.  It wasn't enough though and I passed almost every nerve test in the game whilst he did the opposite.  Boxcars seemed to be the only number for me.  His rolls were snakelike.  17 - 3 win.

I had a good day then and I did not bring shame to my ancestors.  I have decided that units with a number of attacks divisible by 6 are best for me because I can actually pretend that I'm 'math-hammering' during a game.  e.g. 24 attack Fiends hit 12 times wounding a 4 defense unit 6 times.  But then they have Crushing Strength and Vicious so thats err, 8 times and ermm rerolling 1s...  oh sod it, just sound the charge!.  Forward Eorlingas!


  1. I was actually on a 40K Team called "Better Lucky than Good" for several years. The team name's changed up now, but we still swear by it :D

    1. Good name! Thanks for the comment and I hope Kytan feels better soon!